Seriously, I can get my son from sleeping with his mouth open in bed, to ready and out the door in 15 minutes. I’m certainly not bragging, but there are times when their little bodies just need a few more minutes of sleep, even after going to bed early or on time.
So I have a method that I’ve used since I was in the Navy for those mornings when my kid needs five more minutes of sleep time.
Step 1: Turn the mattress over
Either that, or snatch all of the blankets off of them.
Step 2: Walk them to the toilet
Then give them three minutes to sleep on the toilet.
Step 3: Walk them to the shower
They have less than 1 minute to wash everything. Needless to say, something ain’t getting washed. When they complain about it, remind them of the countless times you told them to take a shower at night, and they didn’t.
While they do that, get their clothes ready – only jeans, socks, and underwear. They can pick their own shirt. Keep reading so I can tell you how to do that without bargaining.
Step 4: Throw them the towel, then walk them to the sink to brush their teeth
They have two minutes to brush their teeth. This means you have two minutes to get breakfast ready.
While they brush their teeth, make them a chocolate, peanut butter, and banana smoothie.
- 1 scoop Chocolate protein powder/1 small bottle of chocolate Ensure
- 1 cp vanilla almond milk (if you use protein powder)
- 1 tbsp peanut butter (2 if your kid has a bottomless stomach)
- 1 medium banana
Blend the ingredients in a small, personal blender. When my son drinks this, he is usually always full until lunch.
Once you’re done, walk them out of the bathroom, and toward their room for their next step.
Step 5: Walk them to their clothes on their bed
Yes, this may cause an argument. Tell them they now have less than 3 minutes to put on their clothes. If they don’t like it, and they start complaining a lot, play hardball.
Start unplugging Playstations, computers, take the cell phone, and tell them for every minute they are late, you will take one electronic to the pawn shop to recover the gas money you’re burning by wasting time with their shenanigans.
Yes, this will be their reaction. Don’t be surprised. It just means that they’re awake, and you have their attention.
By that time, they’re ready for Step 6.
Step 6: Have a nice day at school!
While they’re getting ready, grab coats, backpacks, your chocolate drink, and give it to them on their way out the door. Once they walk out the door, remember to tell them that you love them, that you believe in them, and to have a nice day.
Also tell them that it was fun playing hardball with them, but if they don’t want you to REALLY pawn their shit, then get ready the night before like you’ve already requested of them.
This is usually my son’s face as I push him out of the door.
There are a few things that I will mention:
- Your kids may be crying at the end of all of this. Don’t fall victim to their tears. Tell them tears builds character.
- They may ask for their daddy. Hopefully they know who daddy is. Whatever the case, let them get their complaints off of their chest.
- They may have a bad attitude. Tell them they’re allowed to have a bad attitude, as long as they keep it to themselves.
- If their attitude is really funky, give them something else to focus on. For example, remind them that you’ll be having dinner at a restaurant after school. Or that grandma said she would give them money for helping her around the house. Or that one cute boy from science class is in the car next to yours watching their stank attitude. If that doesn’t work, tell them the truth: Your friends and family don’t deserve your shitty attitude. Get it together, and get out of your car.
- If you do this several times, your kids may understand that you’re crazy, and may actually be ready for school the night before.
Because that’s how we roll around here. It can totally be done. Watch this Japanese mom perfect this tactic by getting her kid ready for school in under 5 minutes. Oh, and she had time to MAKE a shirt in between!
I know there are some moms who have this down to a science. How long does it take you to get your kids ready for school?