On Kehlani & What Should Be Off Limits To Post On Social Media

I talk so much shit about myself on the blogs that I write.

So much so that everyone knows a lot about my business. Like that time I almost cheated on my husband, but ended up looking like a crying hot mess in front of the guy I was about to have illegal sex with. Or the time that I lost a menstrual cup in my vagina (I’m still pissed about that one). Or those times when I stepped in human poop.

Usually when I write and post about my extra personal issues on social media, I’ve given myself ample time to mull over the problem, especially when it comes to issues that involved a professional therapist, or a doctor pulling something foreign out of my body. I do it because this is my way of finding peace with whatever I’m going through.

I suppose this is why the whole Kehlani-Kyrie Irving- PartyNextDoor love triangle makes me sad and wonder what’s really happening the world.


In case you didn’t know, R&B singer Kehlani was dating a dude named PartyNextDoor (PND). (On a side note, my worst nightmare is for my future daughter or nieces to have the unmitigated gall to bring a dude across my threshold named PartyNextDoor. Nope.)

Kehlani and PND broke up in the most Millennial way possible – publicly. According to USA Today,

Kehlani and PartyNextDoor used to date, pretty publicly at that, though they appeared to call things off last year in a very public breakup. PND recorded a song called Kehlani’s Freestyle that confirmed the breakup, and featured PND speaking frankly about his failures as a boyfriend.

Not too long after the breakup, she was found getting cozy with Cavaliers Point Guard Kyrie Irving. The dating rumors were confirmed with a heartfelt Instagram post about Kyrie on Valentine’s Day.


An Instagram post later, PND posts a photo of he and Kehlani holding hands, which you can pretty much tell because of her unique hand tattoo. Either way, it was pretty much a sneak diss to Kyrie (because dudes can be petty too).



As a result, the social media world started dissing Kehlani for chilling with her old boo, and not with Kyrie.

I take that back. She was basically cyber bullied because she was playing the field – something that I think all 20-year-old women should do. But apparently, a woman dating around and playing the field is a woman who should be slut shamed.


Another Instagram post later, Kehlani was in the hospital thanking PND for saving her life, because she attempted suicide as a result of the social media backlash (or so we it has been speculated).

For the record, Kyrie has tweeted his support for his old flame after Chris Brown said that Kehlani was doing all of this for attention.


In all of this, I wonder what should we not post on social media? For Kehlani, maybe she’s still searching for the answer. But for myself, who has posted so much private crap online, I know that sometimes you have to allow a situation to run its course before telling everyone about it. If you’re not at peace with whatever you’re going through, posting about whatever you’re going through on social media will only make things worse.

The sad part is that we’re watching the end result in real time. A woman tried to take her life because she seemingly couldn’t handle the pressure that came with posting about a situation that possibly needed to play out before she invited others into her business. It’s a real life Young & The Restless that should’t even be.

Social media is no longer fun and games when someone nearly dies because of it.

As annoying as the phrase was, I now see what my mother was saying when she would tell me over and over, “Everything ain’t everyone’s business.” Admittedly, I would roll my eyes and suck my teeth when my mother said those words, but the words have merit, especially in the social media age.

Unfortunately, it took me to see several social media users attempting suicide and being cyber bullied for me to really get what momma was saying.



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