This Is Why Buying Your Daughter A Vibrator Will End With Embarrassment

My mother was the best and the worst about explaining sex to me.

When I was 11, I asked her what was prostate cancer. She told me “cancer of the dick.”

When I danced with my first crush at 14, she told me never to “push my panties to the side.”

When she first learned that I was having regular sex with my first boyfriend, she told me never to allow sex to skew my image of my boyfriend, because when you, “play pussy, you’ll get f*cked.”

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Granted, everything she said was mostly true, but I wish she would have had took a different approach in order to assuage my young feelings.

As hardcore as my mother was about approaching the subject of sex with me, what she never did was give me a vibrator or that God awful book, Our Bodies, Our Selves. She knew the book was boring, and vibrators would have been out of the question as her gift to me. Not because she’s secretly conservative, but because she knew that I would have threw that thing in a corner, or gave it back to her.

But one Redbook writer said that buying that boring book for her daughter, along with a vibrator, when she was of age. She wrote,

When I started having sex at 17, for a couple of months it was the closest thing I’ve come to true addiction. My boyfriend was over the whole thing in a few months and pulled away emotionally, then physically. I resembled a strung-out person looking for a fix and clawed at this boy for the next year, desperate to get back those feelings that, to me, had come out of nowhere. I still had no clue about masturbation. I only knew that he’d made me feel something I’d never felt before and I could only get that feeling from him.

After that blurb, she started spitting some statistics about teen pregnancies, and what teaching your kids about rape culture and taking ownership of their bodies actually means. This is something that I’m very passionate about as well, as I am raising a child to be cognizant of these facts too.

I can’t pretend to act like I know about the nuances of raising a girl, because I have a little boy. I hear from my friends all the time about how raising girls can be tough. But if I had a little girl, I would’t buy her a vibrator when it came time for her to talk about sex, but I would encourage her to buy her own.

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She needs to know what it feels like to proudly buy something that society thinks is awful.

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She needs to feel the “judging you” stares she may get when she buys a huge, latex phallic dong that may be too huge for her to handle, and the store employees know it when looking at her.

In my opinion, buying a vibrator is part of an experience, not just a “here you go, take care of business,” type of transaction that won’t end with a mom not being humiliated.

It also won’t help your kid hide from the embarrassment they’ll feel buying a vibrator at a retailer. Instead, it may delay it. But if she thinks that’s best, then more power to her.

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But she shouldn’t be surprised when her daughter looks at her like a fool when she hands her one.

Have you mothers of daughters ever considered buying your kid a vibrator as a way to teach them about taking ownership of their bodies? What are your thoughts about the subject? 

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