I Just Learned How Annoying It Is To Listen To Little Kids Curse While Playing Call of Duty

My husband has a way of relieving stress that’s amazing for him – he plays video games.

Specifically, he plays Call of Duty. He says that there’s nothing more exhilarating than putting a cap in someone’s butt in a video game, because it feels legal. So when we argue, or if he has a bad day at work, he hops on the Playstation, and plays Call of Duty until he no longer wants to kill someone.

Well this week, I started to wonder if I should play a few rounds of Call of Duty myself. I was frustrated at the time, and I thought that perhaps it would behoove me to legally kill some video game targets for an hour or so until I calmed down. But before I could ask my husband about it, I started listening to the conversations that goes on during the game.

Again, I am not a gamer, so of course I wouldn’t know that 11 and 12-year-old gamers love to hop on Call of Duty, and curse like drunken, racist politicians.

I heard one little butt hole say, “F*ck your mother in the p*ssy!” You could tell he was a young kid, because no one curses like that unless they’re actually having sex with someone’s mother. I started searching my personal area, because I wanted to know who TF this little tyke with Similac on his breath was talking to.

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Then I realized that the little jerk was talking to my husband. My husband said that I should’t pay attention to the boy, because all kids with a headset cursed like that. But it was hard to ignore, because he kept cursing like a dummy.

“Learn how to shoot, d*ck wish!”

His cursing was absolutely horrible, and all I could do was curse at the television, because we don’t have a headset. Next thing I know, two or three other kids jumps on and start talking smack to my man, which made me want to take off my belt and kick all of their behinds. But I couldn’t!

So there I was, listening to all these voices talking trash, one of them cursing like a complete idiot, and all I could do was yell at the tv like a maniac.

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Eventually, my husband put the television on mute, and I felt a little less crazy.

If you’re a mom purchasing Playstation headsets and mature games for your kid, I only ask that you please teach your kid how to curse too. Don’t half ass the purchase! Get your money’s worth, and teach them how to curse and how to cap a fool. It’s like listening to nails on a chalkboard when a 12-year-old calls my husband and “d*ck wish.”

Of course I’m being sarcastic, but in all seriousness, there’s something to be said about parents who are cool with their kids playing Rated M games to begin with. If you know your kid is a little butt hole, then chances are that they’re being an even worse butt hole when they play video games.

Plus, I’m probably going to purchase a headset for myself when I start playing Call of Duty. And when I do, don’t get mad at me when I read your kid to foul mouth filth when they get out of line.

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