“Bad Moms” Gassed Me Up, & Now I’m Joining The PTA To Annoy The Parents Of My Son’s Bully #IRegretNothing

 

I was livid when I entered my son’s elementary school this week. It’s the end of the school year, and we were still dealing with my son’s bully.

My husband and I tried to inform the bully’s mom that her child was a problem, she decided to basically ignore us, and allow the bullying to continue. My husband and I have done almost everything legally possible to stop my child’s bully from trying to kill him, especially after he sent my son to the hospital with a concussion when he hit my son on the head with a chair.  I was so pissed the night before I went to the school, that it took me five hours, two bottles of wine, and a cigarette to calm down.

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None of it worked, because the next day, I went into my son’s school on the defense, and fully ready to go to jail for fighting a parent. But something thwarted my plans along the way.

As I was in the school’s office waiting to talk to the principal, I somehow landed on an advertisement promoting the new film “Bad Moms,” starring Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Christina Applegate.

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After viewing the trailer, and angrily writing a report about how my son’s bully prison punched my kid in the school bathroom, I was gassed up. I realized that going to jail for killing a parent was not the way to go. Indeed, the best revenge is to live well, and that’s exactly what I was going to do – as a PTA mom.

I’m not going to be just any PTA mom, I need to be “that PTA mom.” The one who has a Power Point presentation on banned ingredients for the school bake sale.

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I needed to be the PTA mom who commands respect with my huge afro. Watching the “Bad Moms” trailer made me feel like God was preparing my awesomeness for just this moment.

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So I asked the school secretary what the PTA was doing about the current bullying issue. Turns out, the entire PTA group quit because they were mad about something (that probably wasn’t that big of a deal). I’m not exactly sure what they were angry about, but the bullying issue at my son’s school is way bigger than administrative angst.

You know the bullying is bad when a teacher retires because she’s sick of those fourth graders telling her to “shut the f*ck up” everyday, and bureaucracy prevents her from doing anything about it.

When I realized that the PTA was dead in the water, I volunteered myself for the cause.

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I not only volunteered myself, I also threatened to run the whole damn operation alone. If that’s what it takes to save my son and other kids the trouble of being bullied, then a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.

I’m pretty sure I royally screwed myself over. I’m also positive that the first week into my reign as PTA queen will end with me wanting to punch everyone in the throat.

So before leaving the school, where the assistant principal was a little too over-freaking joyed that she possibly had a new PTA president, I had to ask myself a few important questions:

Is all of this worth the trouble? Especially if I helped to create an an anti-bullying program so amazing, that my son’s bully would one day ask me to adopt him?

Is it worth the trouble of me actually having, and using, my God-given opportunity to look down on the mother of my son’s bully, especially during a public  meeting?

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Is a PTA power trip worth making the mother of my son’s bully miserable, especially when if I criticize her for bringing store brought cookies to the school bake sale?

Hell. Yes. And this is why moms join the PTA.

Watch the “Bad Moms” trailer below, and let me know if you have ever been a victim of a PTA power trip. 

 

 

 

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