As A Black Mother, This What I Think Is The Best Way To Discipline Kids

I will never pretend to be an authority on childhood discipline. Like most parents, I’m still trying to figure this parenthood thing out.

What I know is that the methods of discipline that I use on my own child is what works for him specifically. In his 7-years of life, I’ve hardly ever spanked him, and I plan to keep it that way. It’s because I know that methods that makes him really think about the consequences of his actions includes scrubbing floors with a toothbrush, cleaning trash in a community park, or doing other physical labor. Like I said, that’s what works for my son, and it’s what’s made him into a better person, as well as changed his behavior.

But I also have bad ass family members who would probably not respond well to physical labor the way my son does. If their parents told them to scrub floors with a toothbrush, they would probably do it, but remain dedicated to their fucked up behavior patterns. That’s why I won’t ever judge any parent for spanking their kids, especially if that’s a punishment that really makes their children better people.

But what I’m not here for, is beating your kids with an RCA video cord, which is exactly what a Baton Rouge mother did when she found out that her kid stole items from her neighbor’s home. According to The Advocate,

A Baton Rouge mother who caught her three sons breaking into a residence was arrested Tuesday after she whipped them as a punishment, East Baton Rouge deputies said.

But the decision to jail 30-year-old Schaquana Evita Spears on child cruelty counts was questioned by the local district attorney and scolded by strangers as far away as California, prompting a debate about where to draw the line between well-meaning discipline and child abuse.

Interestingly enough, the woman’s neighbor thinks that the law went too far by arresting the mother for child cruelty. In fact, she said that she would have done the same thing.

Even Lisa Nicholson, the 45-year-old neighbor who said it was her house that was burglarized by Spears’ children, said she thought the single mother of six should be commended, not arrested. Though she wasn’t home at the time of the break-in, Nicholson said that as the homeowner she could have had killed the boys out of panic when they busted her back window.

“If it was me,” she said, “I’m gonna beat you before I let the cops kill you. I’m gonna do what I have to do. I’m not gonna let (my children) steal and kill and do all of that. I’m not gonna let them fall victim to the streets.”

According to authorities, her kids sustained a few cuts and bruises. Either way, I’m sure that being beaten with an RCA video cord – the same cord used to connect devices, like cable boxes to televisions – will be etched in their memories forever. But whether or not they remember the beating is not my concern.

What’s concerning to me is the idea that an ass kicking will change any kid’s behavior in today’s society.  Kids today have access to the world at their finger tips. They live in an extremely talented and gifted generation. Our kids also live in a generation where they’re constantly mind fucking each other. Between the ass injections, social media, gaming apps, and contouring videos, our kids are growing up mostly mind fucked before they turn 12.

You see, our kids are outsmarting us, and we as black parents allow it to happen when we beat them. Because what happens when your child tells a school teacher or authorities that their parents kicked their asses? You go to jail, and another black family is broken up.

The way I see it, a bad ass kid would want their parents to go to jail, because then they could avoid discipline altogether. If they get rid of their parents, they could do whatever in the hell they wanted to, whenver they wanted to do it.

But as parents, we have to show our kids, especially our black children, that their world is set up for them to go to school then prison if their folks are poor.

End. Of. Discussion.


If you have a kid who happens to make it out of the ghetto, then that’s freaking amazing, because the hood is constantly swallowing people up, and spitting them out.

This is why I think that as a black parent, the best discipline is probably not going to come from a belt. It’s going to come from the mind. Kids today need to be outwitted.

Plus, it’s bad enough that black men and women are helping to keep the prison system afloat. An ass whipping is only going to give the government another black body for prison labor. So why give them what they want?

Still, I can’t help but to feel bad for Schaquana, because she was only employing the methods of discipline that she knew. If anything, I think she should be used as an example of what black parents are up against when it comes to keeping our kids in line.

Either way, I wish like hell I could have coffee with Schaquana, and some other moms. It’s high time we ladies had a chat about strengthening the village, because clearly our kids forgot what time it is.


Check out what Charlemagne had to say about it on Wednesday’s edition of The Breakfast Club’s “Donkey of the Day.”