10 Reasons Why #TacoTrucksOnEveryCorner Is A Pipe Dream

I woke up this morning itching for a taco. Not just any taco, but the ones from Tijuana, where the meat was made with love, and the fresh black beans were hand picked by a person who gave a fuck. And the sauce! Yes Lawd, the sauce!

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That’s the kind of taco that I woke up craving.

The craving didn’t come suddenly either. It came as a result of a news report that I read about Trump’s surrogate, Marco Gutierrez, warning of “taco trucks on every corner” during his interview with MSNBC pundit Joy-Ann Reid, where he discussed Trump’s immigration policy from the presidential candidate’s previous speech on the subject.

According to NBC News,

Marco Gutierrez, founder of Latinos for Trump, joined Joy-Ann Reid and New York State Sen. Adriano Espaillat on Thursday to discuss Trump’s previous day’s immigration speech. Gutierrez, a Mexican-born immigrant, made the comment in a discussion with Reid over whether Trump’s tone on immigration was so alienating people that he was possibly facing a Barry Goldwater moment. 

Gutierrez referred to “problems” in the country in relation to illegal immigration. 

“My culture is a very dominant culture,” Gutierrez said. “And it is imposing, and it is causing problems. If you don’t do something about it you are going to have taco trucks on every corner.”

Following his comments on the cable news network, Twitter fired off a smorgasbord of snarky responses to Gutierrez’s thoughts on the red, white, and green washing of American culture, and it was glorious.

Even though Gutierrez’s comments can indicate a level of self hate, I personally don’t see a problem with taco trucks on every corner.  Tacos are life. The food coma one experiences after eating a taco made by a Mexican man or woman who expresses their love for you through food is fucking glorious. It’s the closest you can get to Heaven, honestly.

But I could also see many people having a problem with the idea of a taco truck on every corner. People have a way of peeing on everyone’s party with their complaints, and I could easily see why an overabundance of taco trucks could quickly turn a party in the mouth into an hour long session of telling complainers to “shut their whore mouths” while you’re in line waiting on your food.

Here are some other complaints about #TacoTrucksOnEveryCorner that has already popped up on Twitter.

1. SOME TACOS ARE PACKED WITH A TON OF CALORIES

As much as I love Tijuana tacos, they’re filled to the brim with calories. Still, they’re delicioso.

2. TRAFFIC IS GOING TO SUCK SO BADLY

Most certainly there will be people screwing up traffic in an attempt to visit that one taco truck that gives you extra meat without you having to ask for it, and it will frustrate the hell out of you.

3. PEOPLE WILL ABUSE POLICE TRAFFIC CAMERAS FOR PERSONAL GAIN

As illegal as this probably is, I would do the same thing. Real talk.

4. HOA ASSHOLES ARE GOING TO MAKE IT HARDER FOR THE TACO TRUCK FOLKS TO SLING THOSE DELICIOUS DINNERS IN SOME NEIGHBORHOODS

Jerks.

5. THE LINES WILL BE OUT OF CONTROL

In theory, a taco truck on every corner would make the lines shorter. But there’s going to be that one taco truck killing it on the grill, and their lines are going to be insanely long. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

5. THERE’S GOING TO BE LOTS OF DRUNK PEOPLE

You can’t eat a taco without a margarita. And during lunch hour, we’re going to definitely see taco truck owners turn people away after their 3rd or 4th margarita drink. Just saying.

6.THE SELF HATE WOULD BE SO REAL

There will surely be some Latinos, besides Gutierrez, who would think that a taco truck on every corner is despicable. Poor them. They wouldn’t be able to see that the taco is a unifying food that brings people together in love and harmony. What could be more American than that?

7. #TACOTRUCKSONEVERYCORNER WOULD END UP BEING ANOTHER BROKEN CAMPAIGN PROMISE

Even though no candidate promised it to begin with, could we really trust anyone to honor this campaign promise? Think about it.

8. #TACOTRUCKSONEVERYCORNER WOULD NOT END RACISM

As much as I would love a taco truck on every corner, some racist prick would find a way to insult Mexicans because there is a taco truck on every corner.

9. IT WOULD FORCE PEOPLE TO LEARN SPANISH

My son and I absolutely love learning Spanish. For us, it’s fun and exciting. But for others who have no desire to learn the language, it would hinder them from getting their dinner. There are people right now who hates reading Goya labels at the supermarket, so could you imagine how hateful their rhetoric would be if they had to learn Spanish in order to order a taco?

10. LOCAL LEADERS WHO DON’T SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESSES WOULD RUIN THE WHOLE IDEA

 

Hate to say it, but unless local leaders start supporting small mobile businesses, a taco truck on every corner would be just another campaign promise reminiscent of a middle school election.

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