It was earlier this year when I realized that I had to watch the people who claimed to be “anti-race allies” on social media groups.
I learned the lesson when my friend added me to a Facebook group for active and veteran women to share their collective stories. At first, I really liked the group. I enjoyed hearing stories about our brave women in and out of uniform.
Unfortunately, that love only lasted two days, because as soon as the subject turned to race, everyone lost their rabbit ass minds (which tends to happen when anyone talks about race on social media).
It’s an undeniable fact that the military has a history of burning the welcome mat for service members of color. Especially proud members of the ‘Good ‘Ol Boy’s Club.’
For example, Dorie Miller saved America’s ass like a gangster when he shot down multiple Japanese fighter planes on a sinking ship. Yet according to Uncle Sam, his skills were only good enough to feed white people.
On a smaller scale, my divo (division officer) told me that black women were nasty because some of us didn’t wash our hair every day.
These things happened, and the women who denied my story were the same ones offended by any race-related subjects. Coincidentally, those women happened to be mostly white.
“I’m tired of talking about race,” they whined (sometimes in unison).
“I’m sure that’s not what he meant to say. What he was trying to say was…” they whitesplained.
“I’m tired of being offended,” they cried.
What’s funny was that the group was created for women to be of service to each other, yet many members were too scared to admit that being of service to women of color did not benefit them. If they didn’t feel that way, then the conversation would have been different. But what we women veterans of color received instead were a bunch of people who basically told us that they were tired hearing us talk.
How’s that for a kick in the face?
It just so happened that many of the group’s women of color were tired explaining the basic concept of racism to grown ass women who knew better. That’s why I left the group.
To see this happening all over again, this time with Pantsuit Nation – a Facebook group that boasts more than 3 million followers – is sad. According to the New York Times, the group’s founder, Libby Chamberlain, received swift backlash for making a book using some of comments from women. But I would imagine that this infuriates the of women of color group members who feel silenced when talking about race.
The purpose of the group was to serve as a safe space for Hillary Clinton supporters to talk about her campaign, but after the campaign, it turned into something else, especially when the subject of race came up.
According to my social media friends, PSN can be best described as a group of women who were no different than the women veteran’s group that I was a part of. My social media friends and I shared experiences with the same yakkety schmakkety from the same types of people. Coincidentally, those people happened to be mostly white women, too.
“I’m tired of talking about race.”
“I’m sure that’s not what he meant to say. What he saying was…”
“I’m tired of being offended.”
Meanwhile, Libby has described her new book as, “A permanent, beautiful, holdable, snuggle-in-bed-able, dogear-able, shareable, tearstainable book.”
When it comes to race, I don’t understand why anyone would want to read about confronting it, before doing so in person? That’s not going to keep anyone alive when we face police brutality, or racism at work. Sure it will expand the group’s message, but how many people are actually going to confront racism after reading it? We can’t even get some white people to admit that the Civil Rights Movement wasn’t just a thing that happened.
What’s more sad is that we have another social media group full of women who are too scared to admit that being of service to women of color does not benefit them, especially if the benefit isn’t money.
That’s why I have to be careful of which Facebook groups I join. Because I can’t, and I won’t, with your madness. Nope.