I’m proud to say that my husband and I have taken the “for better or for worse” part of our wedding vows extra seriously. Especially since the “for worse” part of our wedding story came with crazy in-laws.
My husband and I eloped at a courthouse in downtown Norfolk, Virginia nearly 11-years ago. We knew that this was the best route for us, since our families are both nut cases. We both decided that because we wanted to stay married, telling our mothers that we were marrying was not an option. So we got hitched, and eventually they found out about our nuptials.
It was probably selfish of us to not share our big day with our families. But we both knew that if there were any two people in the world who took bad new poorly, it was our mothers.
As predicted, they thew a series passive aggressive temper tantrums when they found out about our eloping.
But they got over it once they realized we didn’t care about their tantrums.
In my opinion, eloping is the best way for any child who has a parent that’s crazy in the head. But others disagree. Some people try anyway to be a beacon of hope for their insane parents, and they have a big wedding knowing that their nut case families are going to ruin it.
I’m talking about the New York couple who had to call off their ritzy $325,000 Manhattan wedding, after their parents started a brawl with each other. Just messy.
According to the New York Post,
On Oct. 28, 2016, the night before Bradley Moss and longtime girlfriend Amy Bzura were to tie the knot, Bradley’s parents, Robert and Wendy Moss, hosted the meal at Blue Water Grill in Union Square.
But the parents took offense as the bride’s brother, Adam Bzura, was about to make a “heartfelt toast” and video tribute, says the Manhattan federal court suit filed by Amy’s dad, Bruce.
Robert Moss, 65, “inexplicably and angrily declared that Adam was not allowed to speak at the dinner,” and then growled, “Do you know what I can do to you?,” the suit claims.
He threatened to kick Adam out, and “events began to escalate,” it says.
You’ve read that correctly. The groom’s people were mad with the bride’s brother for the pettiest reason ever. Now we normal people know that if you don’t like what someone is saying in a wedding toast, you go up to them and work out your differences, like adults who know how to stay out of jail. But that did not happen.
Whatever the bride’s brother said, it did not have to end with threat’s of ruining people’s lives. I think that we all have a duty to stay civilized as adults, even if it means that you have to leave the room, and cool off for a bit. But in this situation, someone was being “pussy cat on a train tracks petty.” Perhaps it was the bride’s brother.
It doesn’t end there. The groom’s mom, Wendy Moss, starts arguing with the bride’s brother. Then the groom’s brother punched Adam (the bride’s brother) in the face.
Then the two fathers started kicking each other’s asses. After that, I’d imagined that all of the family secrets came out, because the night ended with “shouting and tears,” with the groom’s mom calling guests to tell them that the wedding was off.
Even though their rehearsal dinner was a mess, I wanted to believe that a family brawl would be enough for Amy and Bradley to elope somewhere. Because, love and shit. Tuh! According to the New York Post,
To make sure the relationship was dead, Robert Moss, owner of Long Island Pipe Supply, threatened to toss his son from the business and cut him out of his will if he went ahead and married Amy, the suit claims.
The Mosses then changed the locks on the East 54th Street apartment Amy and Bradley shared, preventing her from getting her belongings, the suit claims. The Bzuras filed for a court order to allow Amy back in.
The night before a hearing on the order, the Mosses relented, only to allegedly humiliate Amy by mandating that “an off-duty police officer . . . accompany her to pack all of her belongings,” according to the suit.
In the romantic death blow, Bradley, 32, sued Amy, 27, for the $125,800 engagement ring he had given her. The case is pending.
To be fair, a lot of this lawsuit probably began over money, and long before Bradley even thought about suing Amy for his money. Both families agreed to foot the bill for the wedding. Bad move.
Like everything else between the Mosses and Bzuras, the bill for the canceled $1,100-a-head wedding reception is in dispute.
Bruce Bzura, head of Old Bridge Chemicals in New Jersey, which posts annual sales of $17 million, claims that he was paying most of the tab but that Robert Moss agreed to cover the $89,919 cost of his side’s 79 wedding guests. Bzura’s suit seeks payment.
Not to take anything away from Amy, because if anyone lost the most in this situation, it was perhaps her. She probably feels hurt about her family’s behavior, and her fiancee not being the man of her drams. At least in some capacity.
Looking back, I’m sure she’s wondering how life would be if she did things differently? If maybe she wondered if eloping wouldn’t have been a bad idea for her, since her family is kind of nuts? We children of crazy parents have all had that idea cross our minds.
And no, it’s not a crazy to feel that way.